Hilary Duff Gets Candid About Divorce, Monogamy and Sexuality
Hilary Duff was 16 years old the first time she fell in love.
"I was like, 'I get it. Like, I actually get it,'" the 29-year-old actress recalled Tuesday on The Love Bomb podcast, hosted by her Younger co-star Nico Tortorella. But her relationship with Good Charlotte's Joel Madden only lasted about three years. "It was so all encompassing. It was so intense. It was my life," Duff revealed. "It was like every minute of my day. It was pretty major."
Dating in the spotlight wasn't easy. But by her own admission, Duff didn't know any differently. "All of my relationships have been in the public eye. Whether people care or not, that's a different story," she explained. "But enough people seem to have cared that it's talked about."
Duff's next serious relationship was with hockey player Mike Comrie, whom she wed in 2010. "I think I feel really lucky. I made a choice when I was about 19 to stop music and to stop acting. I finished my tour and I took two years where I didn't do anything. I didn't mean for it to last that long, but I just wasn't fulfilled in any way. I was just going on stage at night and I was like, 'I don't even know what town I'm in'...It just became so repetitive, and I was like, 'Why am I working like this? I'm supporting all these people.' It was just crazy," the actress said. "Taking that break, I think, really helped me step back from the whole 'Hilary Duff' thing and prioritize."
Before long, Duff was a wife and a mom. It was everything she'd ever wanted, and everything she didn't. "When we were deciding to get married, I was totally down and I felt totally ready. I had already been working as an adult since I was 12 years old," she told her co-star. "So 22 doesn't seem that crazy to get married. But I never like pictured my wedding dress and all that."
Duff protested a bit when Tortorella called her "traditional."
"I don't have the judgment of tradition. If someone chooses to not live a traditional lifestyle, obviously I don't care whatsoever," Duff said. "But some of my choices are more like, 'I got married. I had a baby.' That was very traditional. I do think there's a sweetness to all of that."
But, Duff added, "It's not necessarily realistic all the time."
Duff and Comrie eventually called it quits, though they remain close friends. "My parents are divorced, and my dad is recently remarried—at 71. Get it, dad! Very happily, by the way, which is awesome for him. I'm so excited for both of them," the actress gushed. "But [marriage] is not a sacred thing. I wasn't shamed because I got a divorce. It was a big step to take, and it was a lot of considering a little human, but I don't know. Lots of people in my family are still married."
"Actually," Duff realized, "I don't know if anyone's divorced but me."
"It is a sacred thing, obviously," she told Tortorella. "It's something to be taken very seriously, and I was so happy to be married. I think that I was in a very successful marriage for a long time. I never want to have any negative...I mean, that's hard to say: 'no negative feelings.' But we got together based on love and we separated in a very loving way. I can't imagine going through that process with anyone but him, and he continues to be my very good friend. That's honestly speaking from my heart. So, I think we handled it very consciously and with a lot of love. But marriage is sacred and marriage is not for everyone. Marriage is work. Marriage is really hard. Everyone's like, 'Are you going to get married again?' I'm like, 'I don't know!'"
The actress refuses to view her divorce as a personal failure. "All your relationships can be a success if you make it that way," Duff explained to Tortorella. "Even if they don't last forever."
Duff, who is currently dating fitness trainer Jason Walsh, isn't sure she'll ever remarry. "I don't feel the need to get married again. As much as I was ready and excited, you're like, 'Oh, next step: We get married.' That's kind of the traditional person I'm talking about that's inside of me, or however I was raised. But I don't feel the need," she admitted. "I got to have the experience and it was awesome. So, I guess if it mattered to someone else that much, I would consider it."
Dating after divorce has been tricky, especially when Duff is asked to discuss the ins and outs of her relationship publicly. "It's weird to think about every move that you make," she said. " ►►► https://youtu.be/RWJnbSqObBQ
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